The Week That Was (Or 8 Days At Least)

In the voice of the chef "HELLO CHILDREN!"

Man...can you believe Isaac Hayes is dead? Sorry...that was random.

It was a busy week in my wacky world of couponing so I have not had the chance to blog anything...get ready for the rambling.

I would like to begin this commentary by stating that I feel much younger than the age on my drivers' license. I may be 30...but I am hip...I am with it. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm not hip at all because by forcing myself to tell others I am hip, I am actually lowering my hip standards and therefore detracting from my overall coolness. Whether I am hip....or square...or hip to be square...I know that I do not feel or act my age.

However, last Sunday, I had an epiphany...I had that eye opening, mind clarifying, truth revealing moment where I was finally able to realize that in fact, despite my own previous declarations, I am an old fart. The catalyst of this heightened sense of awareness??? You guessed it, the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. I mean, C'Mon, even the name is an oxymoron, when the heck was the last time MTV played an actual video? Speaking of morons, what in the good F**K is up with this Russel Brand they hired as the host?

At first I thought he might be Jessie Camp's younger, more strung out cousin...or at least a distant relative of that master thespian Yahoo Serious (Remember Him?). Turns out I was wrong on both accounts. Boy, I wish I wasn't. I mean....what???? You couldn't even get the Wayans' to host? Surely you could have dug out one or two of them....there's like 70 of them after all.

You have a better chance of seeing a Beatles reunion next summer than having this ass clown host the VMA's again. Hell...he'd be lucky to get a job as the host of next years' AVM's! Well...if he got that gig, he'd get some kind of 'job' (insert rim shot here).

I could talk about this joker for another 3 hours, but that would be an insult to father time. Now...as for the rest of the show....once again....WTF?

Overall, the show was three hours of my life I will never get back. For that, I blame MTV. I blame those schmucks who have, in a short span of time, gone and ruined the hard work of their predecessors.

So, as to not ramble on for another 10 days, here are some highlights of stupidity I was forced to watch (and a few others I was able to tolerate).

1. Britney...Ok...MTV...we know you need her to make a real comeback...but....seriously....how do you have her make a clean sweep of all of the big awards?!?!?!?!
2. Pink...I thought the performance extras were a bit over the top. Overall, she kicks ass. I don't know a woman out there who could tie her shoes @ the moment.
3. The Jonas Brothers...can someone please tell me what the big friggin deal is? I have seen this before...they were called Hanson...and at least "MMM Bop" had a catchy hook...They sang that song on that stoop...it sucked! I was waiting for Kermit to come out waltzing down Sesame Street.
   
4. Promise Rings...when the biggest story coming out of the VMAs is about promise rings...or better yet...it involves Jordin Sparks in any way...you know its a slow news day.
5. Rhianna - P.O.A. & the best female pop star out there.
6. 'Lil Wayne - otherwise known as the man in Michael Phelps' ipod. I wonder if while Michael Phelps is listening to listening to 'Lil Wayne...is he imagining 'Lil Wayne wearing pants.....or at least ones that fit him?
7. Christina - even having child does not make you look like less of a hooch (i.e., Britney Spears). Not that there's anything wrong with that. What did it do? Her performance made her look more like a lip-syncer! And...she's the one who gets credit for actually being able to sing. You know...I remember one year @ the VMAs being able to look up the skirt of Shirley Manson for 3 1/2 minutes...Was it a hooch outfit? SURE! Did I care? HELL NO! At least she was singing
8. You are MTV...you are supposed to be the barometer of cool in the country...So...for your signature event...I know what to do!!! Dumb down your performance to a back Hollywood lot and fill it with a bunch of industry types who couldn't care less about what was going on. Yeah...great idea. I haven't seen an idea that bad since the SBU 6th Man section went horribly wrong.
9. Kanye...you are the man.
10. Once again...I don't give a shit...If you are a singer...an actor...a stagehand....CS Specialist.....WHATEVER....Here's a message..."I DON'T CARE TO LISTEN TO YOUR POLITICAL POINT OF VIEW!!!!"
    

Wow...Now I realize now how fired up that I was. I need a break. I need to a breather. ITS JUST MTV!!!! I will finish the rest of the week tomorrow....

I feel 30..... I need to get some sleep....Plus the number FIVE is not working on my laptop....I am still confused as to what to do.

Til tomorrow chillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllldren (sorry...I fell asleep holding down the "L" key.

BC

PS...just an afterthought. The definition of hip is to be familiar with, or informed about, the latest ideas, styles, developments, etc.: Therefore, since this blog is reporting on news that is more than one week old....by definition....it is not hip!In light of this new found identity of not being hip...here is a picture of me from my days working @ WPIG in Olean.

BC